“It Hurts my Heart”

It hurts my heart and because of this pain, I am asking my Father to help me, to help me to understand and to see the divine-ness in this situation. Dear Heavenly Father, I am hurting in my heart right now, and I am hoping you can help ease the pain, ease the suffering that I am feeling in my heart-space.

I just found out today that an amazingly wonderful man is now receiving hospice care, and I keep trying to understand how this happened so quickly. I just saw this person at church two Sunday’s ago, and I knew that he had been ill, but I had just hugged him on that Sunday and told him God bless you, and now he is under hospice care making the decision to either be cremated or to be buried. What is happening, and why is it never the right time for these things to happen, why is it never the right time for us to say to goodbye to a family member or a friend or even someone we may not have known as well as we wanted to. Why is it?

So as I found myself even more emotional about this than I thought I would be. I began to realize that I too one day will be making those decisions in my life’s final moments of what is important to me, and what is important to God at that time of my revelation as well. Is it important that I have a large service so that others can feel comfortable about my passing, or is it important to me that I be allowed to say goodbye to those that I will miss and that will truly miss me is that what is truly important for us all.

I will have to see my friend, and say goodbye to him before he goes. Because I can see him in my mind always saying something beautiful and kind to me whenever he would see me. I remember him watching me as we gave out hugs at the huge Hug-fest we did in Old Sacramento last year with the Church, and how he just smiled as I pretty much cornered people to be able to give them a free and unconditional form of love in the form of a hug. I remember him saying to me that “you really are filled with love; I can see love all around you just waiting to be given out to others.” And I replied, “yes I love to share my feelings of love with others, and now that you mentioned it let me give you a hug right now.”

And as he smiled with joy to receive something that was meant just for him, it made me smile as I was doing for him what I loved to do for everyone that I would meet on that day, give them a piece of me unconditionally that would shine out into their hearts the love that I wanted to give to the World. I look forward to visiting my friend, and saying to him thank you for allowing me to give you a piece of me, I look forward to saying to him, God bless you for being the amazingly big soul that you are and that you will always be to me, and I look forward to saying to my friend, may you always know in your heart just how much you touched the hearts of so many by just being who you are a magnificent expression of God’s.

Thank you so much for that, thank you so much for allowing us to love on you, and thank you so much for loving God, and allowing God to continue to love you as well, and for this we say in thanksgiving, thank you God, thank you God, and thank you God, and so it is. God bless you all,

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