Monthly Archives: August 2013

“The only thing that I can promise You, is that I will always love You”

Good day Blessed Ones, well today has been amazing on so many levels, and I am not sure whether to be extremely happy or to feel extremely blessed and grateful, or extremely reflective, let me explain. I have one night left and my beloved will be home from his overtime work that he has been doing in the Bay Area; and I have found out that while he was gone, I and my furry child have been just fine cooking and making do with what I have been cooking for us these last few days to eat.

I have also spent much time in reflection during these days that I have been alone, and to be honest with you that has been amazing and enjoyable as well. To sit for 30 minutes twice a day, and to meditate on just the pure stillness of Spirit; that has been not only amazing but quite liberating all at the same time; and I have truly enjoyed my days and nights alone during this time as well. But to get to the reason why I choose this topic for today was because I find myself relating to people on different levels, and sometimes you just don’t have enough time in the day to be all things to all people.

I don’t have enough time in the day to say what I want to say to all my friends that I want to speak with, and I definitely don’t have enough time in the week to give everyone the undisturbed attention that we all need from time to time; but what I do have to give you is my love. The only thing that I can promise you here and now, and in all times, is that I will always love you; not just because you are husband, or because you are my best friend, nor is it because you are always there, when I need someone to talk to as well.

No, I will always love you because that is my nature, and that is how I see my relationship with you and with others at all times. I may not know all of the intimate details of your life, and I may not be able to recite each and every child’s name that is in your family, but I do love you; and that is because you are a magnificent expression of God’s and because of that, you are a magnificent expression in my eyes that should and will always deserve the love that I want to give you. I say all of this because today as I was reading the newsletter from my state department employer, I found out that an old friend of mine from long ago had passed.

Now I knew she had been sick for some time, but the last time I saw her and the last time we talked, which was in the month of May or early June, she had expressed to me that she was doing great, and that all was well; and she was seeing herself getting her strength back, and for me not to worry because she was going to be around for a long time. I remember I looked her straight in the eyes, and I said to her that I would be praying for her and that I loved her and God bless you my dear. And as we parted, never did I imagine that that would be the last time that I would see her, nor did I think that that would be the last time she would see me. But what I have begun to realize now and forever more, is that tomorrow is not promised for any of us, next week is not promised for any of us as well; and even though we say to ourselves that we are enjoying this moment, right here and right now, it still leaves room in our minds for us to think about what is coming up next, and what is coming up for us in the future of our lives.

I guess I would have known that my friend had passed, if I had read the Obituary Section in the Sacramento Bee on a daily basis; but for me I find that to be a little morbid to say the least. I guess you could say that I don’t want to know; and to find myself constantly looking through that section of the paper to determine how much longer I may even have left myself is a journey I will choose not to travel. I want to live this life as full, and as passionately as possible; and if the idea of reading the Obituary Section in the Sacramento Bee proves to me that I am mortal, and my life is coming to an end sooner than later, I would rather not see that portion of the paper thank you very much; and I will continue to allow myself the vision that life though it is enjoyed one day at a time, I intend to see each and every day as an opportunity to bring about love, love, and more love into this world; one smile, one touch, and one joyful laughing moment at a time.

There will always be time to read the obituary notices, and there will always be time to cry and mourn a good friend, but right now I am sure my friend would tell me, as I am telling and sharing with you; I can’t promise you that I will win the lottery, I can’t’ promise you that I will lose all the weight that you and I both know I should, and I can’t promise you, that each and every day a writing of mine will move you to tears or to joy, but here is something that I can promise you; I can promise you that no matter where you are, and no matter what you think of yourself, and no matter how you feel about yourself at any particular day, time or second; I can promise you that I will always love you, and for that I hope you realize that I intend to keep that promise all the days of my life, and I intend to make good on that promise each and every time we meet. May the love of God give to you today, all that you want, all that you need, and all the promises of love from me, and from others, that have made it their mission in life to love you always and forever more. God bless you all,


“Forgiveness is for Me, and Forgiveness sets me Free”

Forgiveness is for me, and forgiveness sets me free. This is such a powerful statement to me because as I continue to live my life with the presence of God always in my heart and in my mind, I find that throughout the day there is a lot of forgiveness that I need to be accepting about and that I need to prepare myself to provide to others.

Every day we walk out of our homes, is an opportunity to shine the light of forgiveness over a situation, or on someone for what they have done to you or me, as well as what their lips may have expressed out of them as well. I see myself taking a deep breath more often than not when I must have interaction with those that are always ready to put a nail in my heart, or to put a nail in my eyes; so that what I am feeling, and what I am seeing are two things that need to be addressed and re-addressed at all times.

I forgive others for what they do, and what they say; because if I were to not do that, I would actually be the one that suffers, and by suffering for the deeds that others have done, puts such weight on my heart, that I have begun to realize that forgiveness is for me, and forgiveness sets me free as well. Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness; is the sweetest fruit of life, that allows me to continue on my journey, so that I may continue on with the loving and positive life that I have been blessed with to give to others. I want to forgive all of them, I want to forgive all of you; I want to forgive, to forgive, and to forgive.

The giving of myself to the Heavenly Spirit, allows me to be so much more to myself and to others; forgive those that have hurt you, forgive those that will hurt you in the future; and forgive yourself, for allowing yourself to feel the pain of what was ever done to you. For believe me when I tell you, your life, and your existence, will be much richer, and much more graceful, if you allow forgiveness to be a major part of your sharing of your existence with others. Forgive them for they know not what they do, and forgive yourself, for your blessings are coming, and your cup runnith over due to your love of the Heavenly Spirit, and your loving heart to forgive others. Forgiveness is for you, forgiveness is for me, and forgiveness is for all of us, and forgiveness will set us free, and so it is. God bless you all,

“Who are you? Who am I?”

Who are you? Who am I? I have been trying to figure out all my life who am I? Am I the person who my parents wanted me to be? The individual who needed a job, and wanted to have something that was stable and secure, so that I would be taken care of all the days of my life? Or am I that woman who always wanted to be that Fashion Designer, who wanted to make a difference by creating a magnificent blouse with a pocket and a collar. Who am I? Who am I? Am I, am I, the woman who wanted to become a Doctor but was so afraid of blood she couldn’t even deal with putting a Band-Aid on a little finger. Who am I? Who am I? The question is just so amazing, and every time you ask it to yourself it becomes even more creative and complicated. Who am I today? Who was I yesterday? Who am I to my peers? Who am I to my family? Who am I to myself? Who am I?

Let’s not even talk about what am I; because the what doesn’t even have a purpose if you can’t figure out the who, who am I? Who am I, and who do I want to be, and what do I want to be? I want to be an amazing expression of God’s, that is who I want to be; I want to show out into the World that what was here was supposed to be here, and what manifested out of that is this amazing person who was able to make such a difference in this World, that she was able to make a difference to herself as well. Who am I? What am I? What am I to be? Am I to be just this carbon copy of what I find around in this World so that I can be like everybody else; I don’t want to be like everybody else, that is why I colored my hair the shade of cranberry that it is.

I want to be different, I want to be spectacular, I want to be a vision of something that is different, but something that is good and positive. I’m not here to scare little children and babies, I am here to be myself, and if the fact that I have my hair the color of a cranberry dream sets your mind to dream of things that are different, and unusual, well baby here I am, here I am; in all my Glory, and all my beautifulness here I am. I used to know a young lady who would say, I am so beautiful to herself, and to anyone else who would listen, I kid you not. And I would say to her that yes, you are beautiful, but so am I. And she would say, God bless her soul; she would say, oh no no no, you misunderstand me, I am so beautiful. But what is always so amazing about people that think of themselves as so beautiful is that sometimes they are the only ones.

Because the inside is not as beautiful as what they portray or what is projected on the outside. We are all beautiful, we are all magnificent, and we are all beautiful loving expressions of this World, of our God, and of our existence. I kid you not when I would say to this young lady, that yes you are beautiful; but so is everybody else, and what is so amazing about that, is that when we are all beautiful, we are all seen; the world is just not looking at you, the world is looking at me too; and Sally Sue down the block, and Curly Sue around the corner, and Jack and Jill around the block; it’s not just about you; but if you think it is just about you, than that’s the beauty that you will portray out into this World.

But as I have always tried to say to people, I am not here to make you feel better about yourselves, I am not here to make you feel complete about yourself, no, what I am here for is to just make you think, and as you use these thoughts that are in your mind to show you that yes; I am beautiful as well, we all are beautiful, we all shine out a beautiful bright shining star out into this world, we all are magnificent, and the sooner that you realize that for yourself, the sooner you will shine out into this world, who and what you are. When you ask yourself who am I, the answer should come back that you are amazing, you are gifted, you are what we all have been waiting for, but you have to figure that out for yourself, and believe me when I tell you it doesn’t’ take someone else, to make you who and what you need to be for yourself. Look at yourself, and enjoy the magnificence of what it is, see yourself for the magnificent expression that you are; it doesn’t take someone else to tell me that I am beautiful for me to know that within my heart that I’m beautiful because I am.

And it doesn’t’ take someone else to certify that for me, it doesn’t take someone else to recommend or help me, and make me find that out, I know that on my own right, and how long did it take me to figure that out. How long did it take me in my life, to realize that because this child with the loud boisterous voice, with the big bone structure, with the flamboyant style, dress and hair, was who she was meant to be. Don’t make me change myself to make you feel comfortable, and don’t change yourself to make me feel comfortable, be who you are, and be it magnificently; and if you are a red-headed African American woman from the Southside, than be that; and if you feel you have some Irish roots in you from way back then be that; but be yourself, and be who you are, and love who you are, because believe me when I tell you, you are amazing; look at yourself in the mirror and see for yourself your eyes twinkling in the light, see the beauty that has always been upon you, and it is so illuminating.

Yes, there was a time when I didn’t know how beautiful I was, and there was a time when I didn’t’ know how beautiful you were, but guess what, we’ve all been enlightened, we’ve all been transformed, and we’ve all evolved. Look at yourself and see the beauty that God sees in you, look at yourself, and see the beauty that you should see in yourself, and look at yourself, and marvel at what has been created, and for that we say in thanksgiving, thank you God, thank you God, and thank you God, and so it is, amen and amen, God bless you all.

“I will cherish your love forever”

One of the amazing things I have been noticing about my life lately, is that I cherish the moments that I have with my husband so much. I mean just the fact that I get to spend time with him every day is a blessing, to both of us I am sure; but he truly is to me what I had been looking for and waiting for all my life.  My match, my mate, my beloved, he is all those things for me and to me and more.

As I say this right now, he is preparing himself to be away from me for a total of 4 days, while he works on the Bay Bridge Project in San Francisco, CA; and, what was first going to be a little vacation for the two of us to be together, has now become more of a work project; so unfortunately I will not be able to go with him after all.  But I say all of this because today, when I finally realized that I would have to be cooking for myself and Ramses for these next few days, wow I sure hope I am going to be up to the task, I became just a little shell-shocked to say the least. 

When I think of my beloved, and all that we have been through together; and as we promised each other in the beginning, through thick and thin, and for richer and poorer; it has truly been an experience that we both have learned from, an experience we both have taught from, and one we both have grown from.  He is this amazing Chef that can use his imagination with food, and his love for what food means to him, and from the Heavenly Spirit, and he pulls all of that out of him to make the most magnificent meals to behold.  I only wish I could actually go into a kitchen, and in 30 minutes or less whip up something so amazing that it would make Julia Childs say Good Lord you are amazing.

But that is what our love for each other has impressed out of him, and his love of the Heavenly Spirit has impressed out of him as well.  His greatest joy is to cook on Sunday mornings for our beloved Pastor.  He waits for the stillness of the voice of our Heavenly Father, to give him an idea, a musing, and even an entire recipe to put together to serve on Sunday morning.  I love to watch him in the kitchen whipping up something that he only received word on just that morning, or maybe even late that night before; and then he takes that prompting, and makes it into something that is magnificent to say the least.  What a blessing he is to not only me and my family, but the numerous others that he feeds, and that he loves with the food that he prepares.  I will cherish him and his love for food, and what food means to him forever.

Now my other amazing feeling of just warmth and love comes from my Lord.  I find myself saying to myself what are you doing, what do you truly think that you are doing?  I mean when you began this journey you wanted to be a Pastor, and now you feel that writing, and sending love, and inspiration out into the world is more of what your passion is leading you to; but, you seem to not be sure if that is the way as well.  Well, I was I must admit a little taken aback on Sunday when I did my meditation, and not for the reasons that you may think of, but because I just could not find it within myself to write a meditation on this topic “through the power of the Christ in me, I am forever free”; and when all else fails you go, and pull something from the hip that may not be what you wanted to read, but what can you do.  And that is exactly what happened, I pulled a piece out of my past titled “Christ is in Me”, that I had written and needless to say it was not as theologically correct as it should have been, but what can I say I tried.

And that is what has brought me to this topic today; even though I make mistakes, and, I make huge gigantic mistakes, I am still loved by the Heavenly Spirit, and that love is never-ending, and it is everlasting, and it is forever.  I will be cherished by his love forever, and however, I may turn up into this world, and however my life may seem to others; I will always be a child of God’s, and I will always be seen as a cherished child of His.  I am and will be forever loved by God, and I will love God forever as well.  We are in this together He and I, and that makes me far happier than I could have ever been before.

Because even when I feel that sometimes I am all alone, just figuring this out all by myself, and not truly sure sometimes if I am taking the right road from time to time; what I am sure of at all times, is that I am loved by my Heavenly Father, and, I am cherished by the beloved man that I love, and that I will always love myself; for I would rather make big mistakes in life and have tried to soar, then to not make a mistake at all, and not try at all as well.  May the love of God give you all you need, to be all you are intended and determined to be; and may you allow yourself to make mistakes, so that you may allow yourself to be mistake-proof, when that time arrives as well. God bless you all,

“You’ve had the Power all Along, said Glinda the Good Witch”

You know what I find so amazing about life is that, you should never underestimate the power of determination, the power of oneself, clinging, hanging, holding on, to what we call life so dearly. As I watch my beloved animal making his transition to being healed or to being unhealed; I see the determination in his eyes, in his mannerisms, in himself, and what is so amazing about determination, and what is so amazing about ourselves, is that everything that you need to be whole, to be complete, to be enough, to be yourself, is already within you. The famous line from the Wizard of Oz, one of my favorite movies is by Glinda the Good Witch to Dorothy, was that you’ve always had the power that you needed; you’ve always had all you needed within yourself to be the magnificent expression that God has always known you to be.

When I look at myself and I look at my life, I find myself so proud of myself; because every day that we live, and every day that we continue on this amazing journey called life we are learning, we are the student and we are the teacher, we are learning from others and we are teaching others, and we are also learning and teaching ourselves. Who would have imagined that someone would want to express themselves in a medium to the world by using love as a mechanism, by using inspiration, motivation, compassion, joy and forgiveness, and let’s not forget hope, as a way to move mountains; as a way to move your mental mountain your mind. I remember when I was a young child, and I loved science fiction; I was so into science fiction, and Greek mythology, anything and everything that could possible take my mind to another place then where it was currently.

And I remember thinking to myself that if I had my mind, and my mind was clear, and calm, and normal, but I didn’t have my body; let’s say if I was a quadriplegic, or bed- ridden or something of that nature, I could still see myself soaring, and escaping into a world of fantasy, into a world of imagination because of my mind. Now a lot of people feel the heart is the strongest muscle in the body, and it is one of the strongest muscles in the body, if not maybe to some the strongest; but the mind, anything that allows you to take yourself from where you are physically, to another plane, realm, or existence mentally is a powerful something, and that’s what the mind is. So by saying to myself that I could still live my life because of my mind; to me what is so amazing is that I would think about that as a child, and it has now become so much more to me as an adult, but the fact that I had already thought of it as a child, wow mind blowing to say the least.

By saying you have the power that you need already, what we are saying is that you have the power within you, the power within your mind along with the power within your soul, to change and manifest your life into something that you could have only dreamed it to be. It always takes an epiphany for someone to see a change in their life, you always hear about individuals who one day woke up, and something clicked and then they got it, then it made sense, then it all made sense. This life that we have is something that can be a blessing which is what it is, or it can be something that is not a blessing if that is the constant mindset that you have, and since I see things only positively and inspirationally, we are going to flip that, and were going to say this.

My mind, your mind, has the power and the capacity to take us where we want to go, as far as that is, whenever that is, however that is, and it is a blessing. Our minds can take us wherever we want to go, because of the power that it is, and the power that we have, because we are everything we need. So when you think about yourself in that way, when you think about yourself in a way where you are already complete, you are already enough, you are already a blessing, you are already a bright shining star in the sky; then you begin to realize that there is nothing out there, there is nothing that you can buy, there is nothing you can take, there is nothing that you can consume, that will make you more than what you are, because you are already an amazing magnificent expression of God’s.

You are already the amazing thing, the amazing being, the amazing process that is what makes this life of yours so fantastic; so take some time today to be still, and to open your mind to all of the possibilities of the words “I am.” I am _______, and then fill that blank in, with every possible verb you can think of; I am amazing, I am loving, I am a wanting open soul, I am. Use the determination, use the spirit within yourself to know that you are everything that you have been looking for, you are amazing, and you have all the power that you need, you have everything you need to come home, and to become who you were meant to be; and believe me when I tell you, that is most of the journey. Finally realizing within yourself how amazing you truly are, by taking away all the layers of everyone else’s thoughts, dreams, and aspirations of who you should be, and looking at yourself with all that you are, it is so powerful; you have everything you need to be that person that you have always wanted to be, and what may shock you is that you are already that person, it’s just that you have not realized it for yourself.

I wish you today, a day of illumination; I wish you today of finally seeing yourself clearly, for the amazingly powerful and magnificent expression that you are; and when you click your heels three times, and say there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home; you will realize once and for all, that home is within you, and that home is amazing. May the love of God be with you always, and in all ways, and so it is, Amen and amen.

“Meditation on Happiness”

Let us prepare ourselves for meditation, let’s take this time to find a relaxing and comfortable seat, and sit down and rest ourselves; and as our feet touch the ground, and as our hands are put on our laps in an upright cupped position; let’s close our outer eyes, and open our inner eye, the mind’s eye. Let’s take a deep breath in, and let it out, and we take another deep cleansing breath in, and let that out as well. And as the breathing of in and out of pure Spirits air, allows us to be comfortable, to be relaxed at this time, we begin to visualize happiness, visualizing happiness. Now happiness can mean so many things, to so many people; so we will focus on one form of happiness for all of us. See in your mind’s eye a smile on your face, see how your cheeks have risen, how the corners of your mouth are extended upward, and your eyes are open and twinkling with beautiful, beautiful abandon.

Happiness is something that we can experience right here and right now, happiness is what I think of when I see myself enjoying a favorite book, when I see myself enjoying a favorite food, and when I see myself enjoying love that I give to others, and the love that I am getting back from them is happiness. The warm loving sensation of contentment, of fulfillment, of happiness; and as we continue to sit and smile, smiling out into the world the love that we feel for ourselves, and the amazing love we feel for our lives. We are experiencing happiness, can’t you feel it, don’t you feel it deep within your soul, the pleasure of knowing that you are loved, that you are blessed, and you feel good, it all feels good.

Finally you have found peace within yourself; it may have been something that was tugging at your heart but is now released, and you feel happiness. Or it may have been a thought that had been troubling your mind, and now it has passed, and you feel happiness. Happiness, oh it feels so good to be happy, and with your mind’s eye, look out on your territory; and see for yourself all around you, the beautifulness of what happiness feels like from the inside out, and the beautifulness that happiness extends out into the world. Yes, whatever was on your mind, whatever has been troubling your heart, whatever has been bothering your soul has passed, and now you are experiencing happiness.

Take a deep breath in, and resonate with this feeling of happiness, resonate with this feeling of joy, that you are experiencing, it feels so good, it feels so good to be able to feel in your mind happiness; and today as you continue on your way, think constantly about happiness, think constantly what happiness feels like, and think constantly about the amazing rebirth that you feel because of this happiness, happiness, happiness. And as we go into the silence, think of these worlds to yourself silently: I am happy, I am experiencing happiness, I am loved. Say these words to yourself again, I am happy, I am experiencing happiness, I am loved, and as these words continue to play in your mind, over and over again, at this time, think clearly, think openly, think continuously, these words as we go into the silence.


Happiness, happiness, happiness; yes, we are experiencing joy, yes, we have turned over a new leaf, and yes, we are experiencing happiness, keep that feeling in your heart today, keep that feeling in your heart space today, as you continue on your way, and as you continue on in your life, your joy, your happiness, your love, will flow from you to others just how and what you feel, which is happiness, you are so happy today, you are so blessed today, you are so full of love today; happiness, happiness, happiness, and so it is. God bless you all

“The Lord’s Prayer and Beyond”

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on Earth and it is in Heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our debts, as we have also forgiven our debtors, and lead us not into temptation, but to deliver us from error, for thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen and amen.

Dear Heavenly Father God, we have woke up this morning with happiness in our hearts; yes, dear Father God we have woke up this morning with happiness in our hearts; we are thankful for the blessings, we are thankful for the love, and we are thankful to see together another day. Dear Heavenly Father we asked you yesterday for a miracle, we asked you yesterday for a miracle to be transpired, to be transformed in our lives, and we were given a miracle. Every day Lord there are miracles that happen, and today we are experiencing a miracle for ourselves, we see healing happening in this life, in this family, on this day, we see healing happening, we see love being given, and we see the Grace of God being imposed upon us.

Dear Heavenly Father we can only say that for this we are so thankful, for this we are grateful, and for this we are so appreciative Lord; for whenever we had doubt there was no doubt there, we rested our concerns on the altar. We rested our concerns on the love of God, and God you saw us through it, because God we know you would not put us through something, if God, you would not bring us through it and onto the other side. So Lord we are thankful for the blessings, and we are thankful for the lessons; and we see all of this as an adventure in our lives to learn, to love, to accept, and to grow.

Though we may not know what is scheduled for tomorrow, though we may not know what is scheduled for the day after that; but we do know today Lord, we do feel today Lord, that today a miracle has occurred, that today a miracle has transpired, that today a miracle has been revealed; and Lord we are thankful. We celebrate the love of God in our lives, we celebrate the love of God in our lives, and we celebrate the love of God in this world; thank you God for miracles, thank you God for the expected and unexpected blessings, and we say thank you God, for we are so appreciative, for we are so thankful, we thank you God, and so it is. Amen and amen, God bless you all.

“It is time for the pain to lift”

When I say that I rely on God for everything, let me say this again, when I say that I rely on God for everything, that means that I put all my worries, all my concerns, all my obstacles, and all my challenges in the loving arms of God. I rest all my concerns with God because I know that in my mind that they will be taken care of; and, whatever is for me will be for me, if I rely on God to take care of me.

There are no more concerns of worry, there are no more concerns of regret, and there are no more concerns of sadness, of unhappiness, and of un-fulfillment, they have been given up and taken away, and put on the altar. Lord, as a human being, and as a Spiritual being enjoying this physical experience, I realize that there are some things that I cannot solve for myself. I realize that there are some things that I have no control over, and I realize that there are something’s that must be handled by you. So I say to you my Heavenly Father, please perform a miracle today, please perform a miracle this day; for all that I am, and all that I will ever be is because of the love of you, and by resting my worries and concerns on your altar dear Father.

I am a person of love, I am a person of peace, and I am a person of understanding, so yes Lord I understand, and yes Lord I understand and I fully am aware of what time it is. It is the time of your making, it is the time that you have destined for me to speak with you; and, at this time, and in all times after this I will never worry, I will never worry; for all of my concerns, all of my concerns have been given over to you for your direction. And as the change of seasons closely approaches dear Heavenly Spirit, and as another change of season in my life is arriving as well (the failing health of my furry child Ramses); I understand completely what I have been searching for all along; the enlightenment, the enlightenment of a mind free of worry, the enlightenment of a mind open to experiencing life with the love of you in my heart.

Thank you God for allowing me this opportunity to grow, thank you God for allowing me to look back, and to look at myself; and to see myself learning, changing, evolving, and transforming into something else, and that something else is amazing. God, we have allowed ourselves to be so hurt, and to have such pain in our heart, but now, it is time for the pain to lift, it is time now for the heart to be open again, it is time now for the pain to lift; and as we lift the pain away, and as we open our hearts to love again, and we free our minds of worry; we are healed, we are filled with a heart of love again, and we are freed with a mind of peacefulness; and Lord because of all these lessons you have taught me, and because of all these lessons you have taught us all, we are so grateful, we are so appreciative, and we truly feel blessed, and for this and all the glory that we have received, we say in thanksgiving, thank you God, thank you God, and thank you God, and so it is amen and amen. God bless you all,

“What you Seek is Seeking You – Rumi”

Wow, I love this saying by one of the most important writers of all time Rumi. I think what I like the most about this saying is that it resonates within me that all of the love and joy that I put out into this World and that I am also seeking from this World, is in fact seeking me. The love and joy that I put out is coming back to me double fold and overflowing in abundance, because that is how I am flowing it out into this World.

I have to say that the last few days have been a little hard to see the love in, and I can only say that as we go around on this big roller coaster that we call our lives, it is sometimes kind of hard to seek out love and joy when you are dealing with a crisis, or even if what you perceive to be a crisis is dealing with you. My husband and I have been experiencing a lot of pain lately in the way of our four legged child Ramses (chow chow), and at 12 years old, which means that he is actually 84 years old in dog years, wow that can’t be right; well he is experiencing some medical issues that have made him cranky and more aggressive as if that could ever be the case than usual.

He is in pain and he didn’t have any problem letting us know all about it; but as my husband was bite in the face by the dog just for trying to lift him up and get him moving, we began to realize that maybe this is the time that we need to make a decision on what to do about him and his health issues. I first have to say that my beloved is stitched up and in good spirits about all of this, and he is more concerned about the dog’s welfare and the pain that he is experiencing than what he actually did to him and to us. But as we are getting older and as the dog is getting older it does become an issue that we must address sooner unfortunately than later.

So as we spend these next few days trying to decide what to do about our ailing furry child, and as my husband heals from the massive bite he received from Ramses, we know in our hearts that we cannot allow him to ever do this type of thing again; and, if that means he must be put down due to the pain he is experiencing and not able to walk, then we will have to make that charge to do what is best for him, and what is best for the family. But when I think about the topic of what I seek, seeks me, I am reminded about all the love that we have shared with each other as a family of three, our furry child and us. And as we await the coming days and weeks to decide on what will be the outcome of these long and loving 12 years that we have shared with each other; I will always remember the love that I was looking for in my life from my beloved Ramses whenever I was sad, there he was with a nudge and a lick of love; and whenever he was ready to be petted and loved, there Emmitt and I were to give him what he needed as well.

I can only say that I hope that I will be strong enough to give him what he needs these last days and hours; which I believe is a loving gesture as well; as we help him transition to that big doggie heaven that may await him if that is what is needed to be done. I will always love my dog, Ramses Takaya Aioki Walker; and I know he did not mean to hurt his loving human father; but as we together seek to understand and find the love in this situation, I understand that he is seeking to find the love, and the reassurance that we will do what is best for him and his well-being as well. Thank you God for giving us a wonderful companion in our lives for the last twelve years; and, if I am able to have a little more time with my friend, I will take it, but if I am not, I will rest assured that he understands that we will always love him, and he will always love us as well. God bless you all

“What has empowered you today to take care of yourself?”

One of the most beautiful things that I enjoy in this amazing journey that I call my life is the fact that I am able to be inspired and empowered by so many amazing women. The mere fact that someone’s story, that someone’s life journey has allowed them to pick out of that experience the good, the bad, and the ugly, and take all of that information and make it into something that will benefit others is to me what blessing each other is all about.

I had an opportunity to speak with an amazing woman today, and she told me her story of how her life changed due to her being diagnosed with retinal (kidney) failure. That diagnosis allowed her to see for herself how her entire life had always been about serving and taking care of others; so much so that she had forgotten and had neglected to take care of herself. Now isn’t something that we can all be accused of doing, we want to make sure the family is fed, and we want to make sure that our children receive everything and anything, that we did not when we were growing up, and because of that we totally forget that we too need to be nurtured and provided for in our entire lives, not just from the beginning before we had our families, or before we had our marriages, but at all times.

So today as I was talking with this amazing and beautiful woman, I realized about myself that I too can be guilty of that charge as well. It is not unusual for me to worry and care for any and everybody or everything else; and then to finally decide that oh yes I need to eat, or oh yes, I need to go to the doctor’s myself for this continuous and nagging back pain or just pure pain that I may be experiencing. There is always time in the day to care for others but to many of us there is not that same time in the day to care for ourselves, and that is a problem we need to address right now and straight ahead.

So I ask you, what has empowered you today to take care of yourself. What has made you finally realize that enough is enough, and I need to care for me before there is no me to be cared for? I think it is important and it is necessary that you spend quality time with yourself, and I cannot stress this enough, with yourself. By spending time with yourself and for yourself, you begin to realize that there is nothing wrong with at this moment or at that time that you have decided to devote to yourself some self-time, instead of some selfless time. Let’s use today to find a way to please and appease ourselves by showering upon ourselves the love that we need to survive in this World together and alone.

I want to be able to see for myself, just what it feels like to totally and full heartily spend as much time with myself that is needed so that I can say with total honesty that I have loved myself, and I have empowered myself today to do something that I may have once only dreamed about doing; but because I felt that it was necessary and it was important that is why I made the time today; to be not only empowered by others but to empower ones-self to be that amazing woman or amazing man that we have heard about on the television screen or in the newspapers. Instead of always looking to others to empower you to be the best that you can be, look within your own self to find those qualities about you that others see so brightly that empower them that they receive from you. I will never forget how hard it was to pull myself from the bowels of despair when I felt that I was not worthy of the love that I have always received from the Heavenly Father; I mean what could I have been thinking about, and to that question I ask you that as well, what have you been thinking about yourself that could have made you feel unworthy or un-empowering that wasn’t true to you and was not true as well to the World.

Believe me when I tell you, that you are the most magnificent expression of God’s that there is, because it is you. You are the one that empowers others to be magnificent themselves; can’t you see now and forever more that for yourself. I wish for you, as I wish for myself, that if there is ever a time when I would doubt my worthiness to be where I am at this time in my life, receiving the blessings that I am receiving from this Universe; I need only to look into the mirror of myself and my life, and realize deep within my heart space, that I am the one that sings the song of great love for myself and for the inner self of myself that needs to be reminded often that I am the one that empowers others because I am the one that empowers myself. May the love of God shine brightly on you, for you are the bright light that shines out into this World, praise be to God, and so it is. Amen and amen, God bless you all