Good day Blessed Ones, well today has been amazing on so many levels, and I am not sure whether to be extremely happy or to feel extremely blessed and grateful, or extremely reflective, let me explain. I have one night left and my beloved will be home from his overtime work that he has been doing in the Bay Area; and I have found out that while he was gone, I and my furry child have been just fine cooking and making do with what I have been cooking for us these last few days to eat.
I have also spent much time in reflection during these days that I have been alone, and to be honest with you that has been amazing and enjoyable as well. To sit for 30 minutes twice a day, and to meditate on just the pure stillness of Spirit; that has been not only amazing but quite liberating all at the same time; and I have truly enjoyed my days and nights alone during this time as well. But to get to the reason why I choose this topic for today was because I find myself relating to people on different levels, and sometimes you just don’t have enough time in the day to be all things to all people.
I don’t have enough time in the day to say what I want to say to all my friends that I want to speak with, and I definitely don’t have enough time in the week to give everyone the undisturbed attention that we all need from time to time; but what I do have to give you is my love. The only thing that I can promise you here and now, and in all times, is that I will always love you; not just because you are husband, or because you are my best friend, nor is it because you are always there, when I need someone to talk to as well.
No, I will always love you because that is my nature, and that is how I see my relationship with you and with others at all times. I may not know all of the intimate details of your life, and I may not be able to recite each and every child’s name that is in your family, but I do love you; and that is because you are a magnificent expression of God’s and because of that, you are a magnificent expression in my eyes that should and will always deserve the love that I want to give you. I say all of this because today as I was reading the newsletter from my state department employer, I found out that an old friend of mine from long ago had passed.
Now I knew she had been sick for some time, but the last time I saw her and the last time we talked, which was in the month of May or early June, she had expressed to me that she was doing great, and that all was well; and she was seeing herself getting her strength back, and for me not to worry because she was going to be around for a long time. I remember I looked her straight in the eyes, and I said to her that I would be praying for her and that I loved her and God bless you my dear. And as we parted, never did I imagine that that would be the last time that I would see her, nor did I think that that would be the last time she would see me. But what I have begun to realize now and forever more, is that tomorrow is not promised for any of us, next week is not promised for any of us as well; and even though we say to ourselves that we are enjoying this moment, right here and right now, it still leaves room in our minds for us to think about what is coming up next, and what is coming up for us in the future of our lives.
I guess I would have known that my friend had passed, if I had read the Obituary Section in the Sacramento Bee on a daily basis; but for me I find that to be a little morbid to say the least. I guess you could say that I don’t want to know; and to find myself constantly looking through that section of the paper to determine how much longer I may even have left myself is a journey I will choose not to travel. I want to live this life as full, and as passionately as possible; and if the idea of reading the Obituary Section in the Sacramento Bee proves to me that I am mortal, and my life is coming to an end sooner than later, I would rather not see that portion of the paper thank you very much; and I will continue to allow myself the vision that life though it is enjoyed one day at a time, I intend to see each and every day as an opportunity to bring about love, love, and more love into this world; one smile, one touch, and one joyful laughing moment at a time.
There will always be time to read the obituary notices, and there will always be time to cry and mourn a good friend, but right now I am sure my friend would tell me, as I am telling and sharing with you; I can’t promise you that I will win the lottery, I can’t’ promise you that I will lose all the weight that you and I both know I should, and I can’t promise you, that each and every day a writing of mine will move you to tears or to joy, but here is something that I can promise you; I can promise you that no matter where you are, and no matter what you think of yourself, and no matter how you feel about yourself at any particular day, time or second; I can promise you that I will always love you, and for that I hope you realize that I intend to keep that promise all the days of my life, and I intend to make good on that promise each and every time we meet. May the love of God give to you today, all that you want, all that you need, and all the promises of love from me, and from others, that have made it their mission in life to love you always and forever more. God bless you all,