Another chance, another opportunity to make amends if that is what is needed to be done. But for me another chance to open my eyes so much clearer now; so that I may finally see that what was first given to me as a blessing, I may have taken the wrong way, and because of that I am being given another chance to try again, to take another stab at that dream that I have had for so long.
Let me explain, I had a marvelous opportunity to study with a group that at first I had embraced with open arms and an open heart, but then something happened and it awakened in me something that I had never experienced and to be honest I was frightened, and I was scared because I had never in my life during numerous meditations and even long hours of prayer had I ever experienced such a feeling that overwhelmed me, it took me to a place that only few people may have ever experienced in their lives themselves.
I say all of this because as the human being that I am; the one that has opened herself up to the love of God, and the one who has felt that love on numerous occasions but this time that love, that love, that feeling, was even stronger than I had ever experienced; I truly and fully believed I was experiencing the breath of the Heavenly Spirit. So I was scared and I was frightened and as with all things that I do not understand spiritually, I seek my spiritual advisor’s advice and counsel and I truly believe he too was worried for me as well. So what I decided to do by his direction was to slow down my studies in this art of meditation and to take a step back, and I did just that, but all along the closeness that I felt, and the feelings that I experienced stayed with me.
As a matter of fact, I remember telling a friend of mine that the studying that I was doing with this amazing group felt to me like the most delicious and most decadent chocolate I had ever eaten; and each new sensation of that sweet taste was so overwhelming to my senses that all I could do was lose myself in the hunger of this taste. I felt something so pure and so embracing that I almost felt I could lose myself in that amazing feeling of being with the Heavenly Father in meditation; and all I felt was love, but love taken to the next dimension so far up the realm of what I had experienced before, and of what it used to be, it felt like something that was truly truly unimaginable.
I am sharing this with you today, because yesterday as I spent the day rejuvenating my body and my mind, by staying still and resting all day, I experienced that feeling again, but this time I had another chance to see it for what it was and it was glorious. I felt the sun on my face, and I felt the sun coming over the mountains in India as I sat on a hill and watched the most amazing colors of oranges and browns as they danced around my head and showed me figures of a man’s head and others with me as we watched the sun rise over the mountain tops, it was beautiful and it was welcomed.
So the first thing I did after my hours of meditation is I called my Sista Hansa, and I told her that I wanted to continue my studies again, and that I was open and ready to feel the love of God even deeper in my life. And that is when she told me that the trip to India was still happening, and that we needed to talk so that she could include my name on the list for the trip; wow what a blessing, and what an amazing revelation to see again with my mind’s eye.
I thank you God for giving me another chance to experience your essence in my life, I thank you God for showing me that your love for me, and your vision for my life is still going to happen, and we will still experience together this trip to India, and I thank you God for letting me know that there is nothing ever to be afraid of, there is nothing ever to be scared of, and that there is never any worry for you are my Father, and I am a child of yours, and because of that, I will always be loved, I will always be protected, and I will always be given another chance to do what is meant in my life to be experienced. God bless you all